Learning to Love a Brother
by Fireflygirl00
Summary: A 'what if' from "My Son, My Son". What if Heath did get shot a few inches over? Will Nick learn to love this new brother? And if he does will he get the chance to tell him? Or will it be to late? Rated K plus for tragic circumstances.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all! I'm Fireflygirl00 and I'm new here. This is a 'what if' story I got off of the season-1 Big Valley episode "My Son, My Son". If your not familiar with that episode, then part of this may be a little confusing, I apologize.**

««««-»»»»

Heath turned toward the pain, his hand grabbed the right side of his chest. Had one of Wally's men shot him? He looked up and caught Evan's sly grin. Heath felt his knees buckle and he toppled over.

Nick was immediately on the ground next to his fallen brother. Pressing a bandanna onto the wound, he was still screaming at Wally.

"Heath! Nick!" Wally ran across the pastureland.

"Stay away from us!" Nick snarled.

Wally hesitated for a fraction of a moment and then continued towards them. "Forgive me, boys. I didn't mean for anybody to be hurt!" He was now standing next to them.

"Stay away from him!" Nick growled.

To Heath everything was in a haze and he couldn't understand what they were saying. All he knew was there was a lot of blood and it was getting harder to breath.

"It's alright, Heath. It's alright. We're going to get you home." This time Nick's words were clearer.

Without opening his eyes, Heath nodded. Moments later, he was vaguely aware of being lifted into the back of a wagon.

««««-»»»»

Nick cradled his brother's head in his lap as the wagon, drove by Jake, one of the Barkley's ranch hands, bumped down the road towards home. He held his bandanna against Heath's blood-soaked chest. It wasn't doing much good.

Nick began to whisper an earnest prayer over the barely breathing man he held in his arms. The man he was blessed to call 'brother'. "Please, dear God, spare him! I...I love him. I can't imagine life...without him. Please, God!"

"Something wrong, Nick?"

Nick jerked his head up, from watching Heath's breathing to Jake. "Huh?"

"Is something wrong? I thought I heard you talking."

Nick's response was so quiet that Jake had to strain to hear him. "I was praying, Jake. I was praying for Heath."

Jake turned back around and got the team of horses moving down the road at a faster pace. He'd worked for the Barkleys for several years and never knew Nick to make a statement like that. Oh, Nick went to church...well...most of the time. But Jake had never heard him verbally mention The Man Upstairs.

Suddenly Heath started coughing. Laying flat of his back, he was gasping for air. Nick quickly helped him sit up. Heath continued coughing violently and blood soon ran from the corner of his mouth. Nick knew this was not a good sign.

Heath wasn't wearing a bandanna but Nick reached into his brother's vest pocket and found a handkerchief. He held it to Heath's mouth and waited for the coughing to cease.

When the haggard hacking finally did stop, Heath collapsed onto Nick once again. "It's alright, Heath. We're almost home."

Heath didn't answer. He was out cold.

««««-»»»»

When the three arrived at the barkley mansion, Jake pulled the team of horses to a stop out front. Nick and Jake lifted Heath's lifeless form from the wagon box and hurried through the front door.

"Mother! Audra! Where's everybody at?" Nick yelled.

Mother came from the direction of the kitchen. "Nick, must you carry on so-" She stopped when she saw Heath. "Heath! Nick, what happened?"

"There was a dispute with Wally and his hands. Heath got hit. It's pretty bad. He's been coughing up blood." Nick gave a brief explanation.

Victoria started to argue that Wally would never do anything like that, but quickly decided against it. The proof is in the pudding. As the saying goes, and no doubt about it Heath was hurt. "Bring him upstairs."

Victoria followed Nick and Jake up the grand staircase. She hurried ahead of them into Heath's room and turned down the bedding.

When they settled Heath in the bed, he moaned. It was the first sign of consciousness he'd shown since the coughing attack in the wagon.

Nick had just sent Jake to town after Dr. Merar when Audra appeared in the doorway.

"Heath!" She shrieked when she saw her brother's blood-covered chest; she rushed to his side. "Mother, Nick, what happened?"

"They shot him." Nick stated, bluntly, from where he stood over his brother.

"Audra, would you please fetch me some water, lots of it. And you know where the rags are in the kitchen for bandages." Victoria got right down to business.

"Of course." Audra hurried from the room.

Victoria turned to Nick. "Do you have a knife?"

He pulled a jack-knife from his pocket and handed it to her, then he held Heath still, while she cut away his shirt, exposing the wound. A dark hole was spurting blood from the top half of Heath's ribcage, about four inches below his collarbone.

Victoria gasped and nodded. "It's bad." She took a strip of the shirt and pressed it against the wound. Heath jerked.

Nick clenched his fist and paced the length of the room. He felt helpless knowing he could do nothing to ease Heath's pain.

Before Audra returned from downstairs, Heath roused and muttered something barely audible.

"What'd he say?" Nick asked.

Victoria shook her head that she didn't know.

"Au...dra..." Heath rasped.

Nick stuck his head through the door and yelled, "Audra! Get up here!"

"Nick, must you!" Victoria reprimanded.

"Sorry, Mother." He mumbled and resumed his anxious pacing.

Heath was still muttering her name, when Audra came running with a basin of water and an armload of clean cloths. "What's wrong?"

Victoria peeked under the piece of Heath's shirt that was already dripping with blood, and placed another one over it. "He wants you, dear."

Audra wiped her teary eyes and sat at her brother's left side, taking his hand. "I'm here, Heath. I'm right here."

Heath's eyelids slitted open. "Gotta...tell ya...was...Evan."

Nick spun around. "What was Evan?"

Heath looked at Victoria and, wincing, groaned as she pressed harder, trying desperately to stop the flow of blood. He squeezed Audra's hand as his eyes slid closed.

"What was Evan, Heath?" Nick persisted. He knelt next to Audra and layed his hand on Heath's shoulder. "Come on. Stay with us."

Heath turned hazy, agony-filled eyes back to Audra. "He said...I'd be...sorry."

"Do you mean Evan...shot you?" Audra whispered, grasping Heath's hand in both of hers, as if the act would keep him conscious.

Heath didn't answer. He seemed to be having enough trouble just breathing and staying awake.

"Tell us, Heath." Nick clasped his brother's arm. "Are you sure it was Evan? I saw the look on his face, too, but-"

"Stay...a-way...from him...sis..." Heath's eyelids closed as he drifted into the world of darkness.

««««-»»»»

About a quarter of an hour later Heath semi-consciously leaned forward and started to cough. "Easy, son." Victoria cautioned. While keeping the wound compressed with her right hand, she slipped her left arm under his shoulders and eased him up, making it easier for him to breath.

Mid-cough Heath fell back and went limp. His eyes rolled back in his head. Victoria layed him back against the pillows and watched him closely. His breathing had been a grating, raspy noise, but now the entire room was silent. Something wasn't right.

Victoria gasped and spun around, her face stricken with terror and panic. "Nick! Your brother's not breathing!"

Nick rushed over and sat on Heath's left. He roughly jerked Heath's upper body up into a sitting position. Heath's head lolled side to side.

Nick pressed his ear against Heath's chest. He nodded. "I can hear a heartbeat. I think that bullet hit his lung." He let Heath's forehead drop against his collarbone. "Come on, Heath. Breath for me, boy! I'll help you, just give me one good cough."

Audra and Victoria watched in horror as Nick repeatedly smacked his palm on Heath's bare back, directly between his shoulder blades. "Don't you dare give up, boy!" Suddenly Nick's tone changed from Nick the loud, demanding boss to Nick the loving, pleading brother. "Please Heath! Breath!" Time was running out. "Please, God! Don't give in to it, Heath! Breath!"

Seconds ticked by. Audra stood at the foot of the bed, watching as her loud, dark-haired, brother continued aggressively beating her quiet, blond brother.

There was no response. Knowing Heath was gone, Audra sank to the floor, sobbing out her broken heart.

««««-»»»»

Cliff-hanger! Part -2 coming soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! I'm back with chapter-2! Thank you all for your encouraging comments! To anyone reading this : please review and let me know how I did! ; )**

 **~Fireflygirl00**

Victoria realized Heath was dead. _No! It can't be!_ She wanted to scream. Trying to keep herself together for Nick and Audra's sakes, she moved closer to the bed, intending to tell Nick to release his brother's body.

Just then a miracle took place. Every ear in the room heard Heath's sharp intake of breath. Then he coughed. A long, hard, and painful sounding cough. Blood ran freely down his chin.

Audra jumped up and stumbled around the bed to her mother.

Heath coughed several more times, clearing blood from his lungs, before collapsing against Nick, panting and shaky. Nick wrapped both arms around his injured brother and twisted his head to speak to his mother and sister.

Tears threatening to stream down his face, he said hoarsely, "Mother, will you wipe that blood away please?" He nodded toward Heath's head resting against his shoulder.

When Victoria stepped forward, damp cloth in hand, to clean the blood from Heath's mouth she noticed that his lips had obviously been blue, for they were slowly regaining a more lifelike color. She shuddered as this was a visual reminder of how close he'd came to death.

Heath had awoken during another of those blasted coughing fits. He was frightened and he wasn't sure why. Not caring what anyone said or thought, he brought his left hand up and clutched the front of Nick's shirt. His right arm hung loose at his side.

Nick felt the timid grasp and smiled. "It's alright, little brother." He soothed, holding Heath protectively against himself. "You're going to be okay."

««««-»»»»

Nick was still sitting with a now unconscious Heath cradled in his arms when Dr. Merar arrived. He glanced from the two brothers to Victoria. She quietly explained, "He stopped breathing and we almost lost him."

Dr. Merar nodded as he realized the seriousness of the situation. He tapped Nick on the arm. "Easy Nick. Let me see to him."

Nick gently layed Heath back on the bed and stood. The front of Nick's shirt was stained with his brother's blood.

Dr. Merar peeled away the crimson red, mutilated shirt from Heath's chest and looked over the gunshot wound that was continuously spurting blood. He nodded to Nick and Audra. "I'd appreciate it if you two would wait downstairs. Your mother can stay and help me."

Audra nodded, and took Nick's arm when he started to protest. "Come on, Nick." She led him out of the room.

At the top of the stairs, Nick pulled away and hurried down to the parlor. Audra wiped her eyes and followed him.

She found him trying to pour a drink, but his hands were shaking do badly he couldn't.

"I don't think you need that right now, Nick." She whispered. She gently pulled it out of his trembling hands and set it down. He walked across the room until he stood staring into the fireplace.

Audra layed a gentle hand on his arm. "Nick?"

Nick looked her in the eye. "I've never been so scared in all my life, sis."

"Me neither." Tears welled in her eyes once again.

"We almost lost him. And I never told-" Nick's voice broke and he started to walk away.

Audra grabbed his wrist and stopped him. He'd drew her close, and the two shared a long, tight, heartfelt embrace.

««««-»»»»

After Nick and Audra left, Dr. Merar removed his stethoscope from his bag and spent a full minute listening carefully to Heath's heart and lungs. Slowly shaking his head, he turned to Victoria.

The petite woman stood near the foot of the bed. Her lips were pressed tightly together and she fought back the tears. Howard Merar hated what he had to tell her, but he got straight to the point. He started with, "sounds like his lung has been punctured."

Victoria nodded. "I suspected as much. He's been coughing up blood. Nick said it started on the wagon ride home."

"He's lost a tremendous amount of blood, and will lose more when I go in to extract the bullet and see exactly what's going on with his lung. I think a transfusion before surgery is a good idea. Would Nick be willing?"

"I think so. I'll get him."

Victoria returned with Nick; Audra came right behind them. She wasn't about to wait downstairs, alone, for news on her blond brother's condition. The brother who had came to mean so very much to her in the last seven months. On ordinary conditions Dr. Merar would have requested she leave the room, but in this case he decided to let her be.

"Well, doc?" Nick demanded. "What's his chances?"

Dr. Merar sighed. "I've seen worst but the outcome hasn't been good-"

"You mean the victims have died?" Nick's interruption wasn't formulated as a question, but as a statement.

The doctor nodded, somberly. "Don't get me wrong, there's a chance he'll pull through, but...I would suggest you get a wire out to Eugene and Jarrod right away."

Audra stifled a cry.

"Mother said you want to do a transfusion before trying to take the bullet out?" Nick asked, struggling to keep his own tears at bay.

The doctor nodded.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, doc?" Nick asked. "I mean I've never gave him blood before. How do you know it'll work?"

Howard Merar sighed. He wasn't enjoying this. "I don't know that it will work, but if we don't chance it," he paused, "if we don't chance it I doubt if he'll make it though the night. Maybe not even through surgery."

That was all Nick needed to hear. He sat on the side of the bed and rolled up his sleeve. He didn't move a muscle or say a word while Dr. Merar began the transfusion.

Meanwhile, Victoria sent Audra to find Silas and ask him to tell Duke, their foreman, to send a telegram to Jarrod and one to Eugene

His eyes transfixed on Heath's colorless face, Nick ran his hand through Heath's hair. He whispered a few words that only Heath and Victoria, who was now on the side of the bed opposite him, could hear. "You can't leave me now...I need ya, Heath."


	3. Chapter 3

**I apologize for how short this part is.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **~Fireflygirl00**

««««-»»»»

Jarrod rode up to the ranch in the darkness. Trotting past the house he took notice that lamps all over the large house were burning brightly.

Jarrod headed on into the barn and dismounted. He was startled when the Barkley ranch foreman walked in. "Jarrod! I was on my way to town to send a telegram to you."

"Why, Duke? What's wrong?"

"It's your brother, Jarrod. He's hurt bad. Doc's been here for hours. Silas came and ask me to send the telegrams for them." He looked Jarrod in the eye. "Doc don't expect **him** to make it."

That was all Jarrod heard as he tore out of the barn. A million possibility whirled around in his mind. _Thrown from a bronc? Cattle stampede? Snake bite? Wagon wreck?_

Jarrod rushed inside and found no one in sight. "Mother! Where is everyone?" He ran up the stairs and was almost to Nick's room when he saw light spilling into the hallway through Heath's open bedroom door. Confused, he stepped inside.

The sight before him stopped Jarrod in his tracks.

Heath lay on the large bed, his face as white as the sheets below him. Sweat beaded his forehead and he was deathly still.

Nick sat next to him, his hand on Heath's left bicep.

Audra and Victoria stood off to the side. They were both shedding their fair share of tears.

For a split second Jarrod thought Heath was dead, but then he saw something that told him otherwise. A rubber tube ran from Nick's right arm into Heath's left one.

Dr. Merar was across the bed from Nick, laying what appeared to be surgical instruments on the nightstand.

Jarrod was stunned. When Duke had said _your brother_ Jarrod had assumed he meant Nick (since Eugene was away at college and it couldn't be him). He felt awful; ashamed to realize he'd _overlooked_ Heath as his brother.

Before anyone could take notice of Jarrod, Heath coughed and blood ran from both sides of his mouth. Icy cold fear stabbed Jarrod's heart. This wasn't good.

At the heart-wrenching sound of the cough, Victoria turned and, in doing so, spotted Jarrod in the doorway. "Jarrod! Oh, thank goodness you're here."

"Mother, what happened?"

"I don't know, really. But Heath's been shot. It's...it's pretty bad."

Audra turned around and ran to him. "Jarrod!" He caught her up in a hug.

While Victoria returned to Heath, Jarrod questioned Audra. "Sweetheart, how'd it happen?"

The two siblings stood near the open doorway and Audra quickly and quietly told him all she knew of how the accident occurred. Finishing with, "Oh, Jarrod, Dr. Merar doesn't know if he'll make it!"

As Jarrod tried to comfort Audra, Dr. Merar removed the transfusion needles. First from Nick's arm and then from Heath's. He wrapped clean bandaging around the transfusion site on each brother's arm.

Turning back to the family Dr. Merar said, "I'll perform surgery now. Jarrod, Audra, if you two would take Nick downstairs and see to it that he gets something to eat." He glanced at Victoria. "Your mother has agreed to assist me."

Jarrod, with a sobbing Audra next to him, stepped toward the center of the room. "What are his chances, Howard?"

"Besides the fact that he's got a bullet in him, something has punctured his lung. If a broken rib did it, there's a chance I can repair it. But if the bullet it's self is in the lung there's probably nothing I can do." Howard Merar sadly shook his head.

"And if that's the case?" Jarrod prodded, needing to know the truth.

Merar looked at the eldest Barkley son, and then down to Heath and around at the rest of the family. "I wouldn't expect him to see sunrise."

««««-»»»


	4. Chapter 4

**hello, everyone! I had planned to get this part up before now but, alas, that did not happen...And now the italic feature is not cooperating...**

 **thanks for reading! Please review! :)**

 **~Fireflygirl00**

««««-»»»

Jarrod, Audra, and Nick headed downstairs. Meanwhile in Heath's room, Dr. Merar had everything ready for surgery.

He placed a bottle of chloroform and a clean cloth on a small table to Heath's left, and in easy reach for Victoria. She gave him a questioning look.

"Chloroform," he explained. "We're not going to use it unless it's absolutely necessary to calm him. And then only a very small dosage."

Victoria nodded her understanding. "We're going to hope and pray he doesn't wake before you're finished."

It wasn't a question, but the doctor answered anyway. "Exactly. The anesthesia would slow his breathing. With the condition his lung is already in, there would _be_ slim chance of him waking up from it."

Again Victoria only nodded, while silently praying.

"I'm going to uncover the wound. He's probably going to start bleeding again so I need to work fast. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready if you are."

When Dr. Merar removed the blood-soaked shirt, a sucking sound was heard. "Uh, oh."

"What is it?" Victoria was quick to ask.

"His lung is pulling air in through the bullet hole."

"And that's not good," Victoria finished.

Howard shook his head. He picked up a small sharp instrument and surgery was underway.

"I found it," he announced, a few minutes later. After removing the bullet, Dr. Merar pursued the issue of the punctured lung.

After several more minutes of dreadful silence, the doctor spoke. "Thank God." He looked at Victoria. "I think I can stitch it up."

They exchanged a relieved, heartfelt smile. After explaining to Victoria what he could make out, Dr. Merar concentrated on carefully stitching up the puncture.

A movement at Heath's side caught Victoria's eye. She glanced down. His left hand clenched and unclenched with every move the doctor made.

Before she could say anything, Dr. Merar saw it also. "I was afraid of that. He's feeling the pain, that means he's regaining consciousness."

"Should I get the anesthetic?"

"No. I'm almost done and I don't want it unless it's inevitable."

Quickly, but not carelessly, the good doctor stitched up the incisions he'd made to find the bullet. Then he began washing the open wound. "Is there any honey in the house?"

"Yes," Victoria answered. "Why?"

"I'll use it to dress the wound. Honey is pure. Infection can't grow in it. I've seen it work when nothing else would. The wound is none to clean right now."

Victoria nodded her head. "Do you want me to get it?"

"Yes, please. You can send Silas up with it and then tell the boys and Audra the good news."

««««-»»»»

Meanwhile downstairs...

Jarrod, Audra, and Nick were in the dining room. Nobody was actually eating, but they were seated around the table just the same. The slightest noise had them whirling to look expectantly at the empty doorway.

Nick played with his food; his thoughts a million miles away.

Jarrod glanced Nick's way and noticed. "Nick." No answer. "Nick."

Nick started. "Huh?"

Jarrod motioned to his brother's plate. "Dr. Merar wants you to eat something to build your blood back up."

"I HEARD HIM!" Nick snapped. "And you-"

A sudden noise caught the two's attention. Audra's fork fell from her hand and clattered to the plate.

"Audra! What the-" Nick's ranting was stopped when he saw his little sister's expression.

She was staring off into space, tears rolling out of her eyes.

"It's all my fault," she murmured before jumping up and rushing out of the room.

Jarrod got up to go after her, but Nick beat him to it. "Let me, Jarrod."

He found her leaning against the wall down the hall from the dining room.

"Audra?"

She turned to look at him. "I...I just realized it, Nick."

"Realized what, honey?"

"This is all my fault. If...if I hadn't led Evan on the night of the party, if I hadn't screamed Heath wouldn't have came to my rescue...And Evan wouldn't hate him so...And none of this would be happening!"

Nick hugged her. "It's not your fault, Audra. Don't blame yourself. If you want to blame someone, blame me."

"You? But, Nick-"

Just then, they heard a door shut and soft footfalls coming down the hall. Jarrod appeared and the three hurried towards the parlor.

««««-»»»»

Victoria left the room and started down the stairs. She was about halfway down when Jarrod, Nick, Audra, and Silas emerged from the direction of the kitchen.

Nick saw her first and sprinted up the stairs to meet her. "Mother? Is he-?" Victoria knew what he was thinking. 'Is he still alive?'

"He's all right, Nick."

Nick looked relieved. "And? What about his lung?"

"I'll explain everything in just a minute. Silas, will you please take some honey up to Dr. Merar?"

"Sure thing, Miz Barkley."

Victoria took Nick's arm and pulled him towards the parlor. "Why don't we sit down?" At Nick's worried expression, she added, "Don't worry, Nick. It's good news."

Victoria and Audra sat on the settee and Jarrod in a chair across from them. Nick, however chose to stand next to the fireplace.

Victoria began her explanation. "Howard was able to remove the bullet and stitch up Heath's lung. The bullet didn't hit his lung."

"Oh, Mother, that's wonderful!" Audra exclaimed.

Nick closed his eyes and let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

Jarrod was relieved, but was already thinking on to the next thing. "Then what did it, Mother?"

"The bullet broke one of his ribs and the rib punctured his lung." Victoria sighed. "Howard said that with any move heath made the bullet was probably grinding against the broken rib."

"That sounds awful," Audra whispered. "Can we see him?"

"Heath hasn't came to, but I think Howard will let you sit with him." Victoria stood. "Let's all go up."

««««-»»»»


	5. Chapter 5

hey, everyone! Sorry this is so late.

Part-5 immediately follows part-4. Please review and give me your honest opinion!

Enjoy! :)

««««-»»»»

Back upstairs a few moments later, Dr. Merar was talking with the family. "He's not out of the woods yet. If he takes a turn for the worst and I don't think he'll pull through, then I'll try to wake him. Otherwise just let him rest. Also, someone needs to be with him at all times. I don't want him alone for even a minute or two. If he were to wake up and try to move around, he could send that rib right back through his lung, and that could prove to be fatal. I suggest you take shifts so everyone can get some sleep."

Everyone nodded their understanding of the orders. Dr. Merar knew that out of their care for this young man they would follow them to the letter.

"I'll stay with him for now," Nick offered, starting for the chair next to his brother.

"No."

"What?!" Nick whirled on the physician.

"I said 'no', Nick. I want you to eat something and go to bed." The doctor's authoritative tone booked no arguments.

"But-"

"Nick, listen to me!" Howard Merar grabbed the second Barkley brother by the arm. "The transfusion worked; Heath's body accepted the blood from you earlier. However, because I haven't been able to get the bleeding completely stanched, he may need more before this is all over, if it ever is over." He said the last part nearly to himself. "But if you've been sitting up with him all night, you won't be in any condition to give him the blood he may need."

Nick stepped back, his gaze dropping to the floor. "Alright, alright. I guess you know best." He turned and hurried out the door.

Audra, Jarrod, and Victoria watched him go. Then Audra looked at her mother and the doctor. "I want to sit with him."

Victoria nodded. "One of us will come check on you in a few hours, dear. Howard, I assume you'll stay here tonight?"

"Yes, Victoria. Thank you. I'll know more of his condition by morning."

Victoria nodded. "Silas, will you show Dr. Merar into the guest room please?"

"Be glad to, Miz Barkley."

««««-»»»»

After Jarrod had gone to bed and Silas had shown Dr. Merar into the guest room, Victoria started downstairs. It had always been a part of her nightly routine to walk through the house, putting out any lights and locking the front door. When one of her children weren't home she would leave the door unlocked and a lamp lit to greet them.

Tonight, when she swished through the parlor she noticed that the door onto the verandah was open, allowing the cool night breeze to blow through the room. Taking a step closer, she saw that Nick was standing there, hands gripping the railing.

Victoria quietly stepped out behind him without saying a word.

Nick must've heard her or sensed her presence, for he said, "Mother."

She moved up next to him, laying a gentle hand on his arm. "Nick, I thought you went to bed already."

Nick shook his head. "I've been right here...thinking."

"Do you mind if I ask what about?"

"Heath."

"I could've guessed. Want to tell me more about it?"

"He had to fight his way in here because of me, and..." Nick shook his head and turned around. "I'm sorry, Mother. I can't talk about it right now."

Victoria nodded. "I understand." She smiled. "You're asleep on your feet. Go to bed, Nick."

He pulled her into a hug. "Yes, ma'am."

««««-»»»»

Later the same night...

Audra was seated in a chair next to Heath. She reached for a cloth floating in a basin on the nightstand. She wrung it out and placed it on Heath's forehead. She stroked the side of his face and murmured, "Please be alright, Heath."

Turning her face heavenward, she pleaded with The Almighty. "Please God, don't take him home yet. We haven't known him long and I'm not ready to say goodbye to him..."

Audra picked up her brother's limp hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She was surprised when she felt him weakly, but surprisingly firmly, return the grasp.

At first she thought she was imagining it! But after looking back to Heath's face and seeing his eyelids struggling to lift, she knew it was for real.

"Heath? Can you hear me?"

Heath's eyes slowly opened. He blinked several times, willing his eyes to focus. "Au...dra?"

Audra smiled and squeezed his hand. "Yes, Heath."

Before she could warn him not to move, he attempted to push himself up on one elbow. He gave a weak cry of agony and fell back.

"Heath!" Audra exclaimed. She placed one hand on his good shoulder and squeezed his again with her other. She watched as he struggled against the pain that threatened to black him out again. "Don't try to move. Lie still and I'll be right back."

Audra stood to leave, but Heath kept a death grip on her hand. "It's alright, Heath. I'm just going to get Dr. Merar." Heath refused to let go. He simply held to her hand and drew quick, shaky breaths, fighting the pain.

Audra didn't want to upset him further by prying his fingers loose. "Okay, big brother. You can relax. I'm not leaving." She sat back down on the bed next to him and turning towards the door, called for the doctor. Loud enough for him to hear, but hopefully quiet enough not to wake the whole house. "Doctor? Dr. Merar?"

Regardless of Audra's attempts, the call brought, along with Dr. Merar, her mother and brothers. The sight of her family in various stages of dressing was almost comical. While Victoria wore a gown and robe, Jarrod wore only an undershirt and Nick was pulling his shirt on upon entering the room.

"Audra?"

"What is it?"

"What's wrong?"

The questions came from everywhere. Without leaving Heath's side, Audra turned to the rest of her family while Dr. Merar hurried over to his patient. "He's awake."

Victoria forced a smile and sat down next to and behind Audra. Nick and Jarrod hovered nearby.

Audra looked toward Dr. Merar. "He tried to sit up right after he came around."

Merar nodded and snatched up his stethoscope to examine his patient. Straightening back up moments later, he said, "I don't think he caused any damage." The doctor leaned over Heath. "Heath, can you hear me?"

The blue eyes were slightly open but unfocused.

"Heath," Dr. Merar tried again, lightly slapping Heath's face.

Heath groaned and tried to turn away from the persistent physician.

"Heath, it's Doctor Merar. I need you to talk to me, son."

"Listenin..."

"I need you to take a deep breath for me, alright?"

Heath nodded and started to do so while Dr. Merar listened through the stethoscope. Heath gasped. He grabbed his chest and his jaw clenched.

"Easy, Heath." Dr. Merar placed one hand on Heath's shoulder and removed the stethoscope from his ears.

"Hurts..." Heath rasped.

"I know, heath. That's enough for now. I'm going to let you sleep."

Almost immediately, Heath's eyes closed and he drifted into a restful state of unconsciousness.

"Well?" Nick snapped when Dr. Merar didn't tell them anything. "Will he be alright?"

Dr. Merar sighed. "I honestly don't know. He's very weak. He could easily develop pneumonia or an infection in the wound." He slowly shook his head. "Only time will tell."

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	6. Chapter 6

**hello everyone! Thank you all a bushel for your sweet reviews. I'm sorry chapter 6 is so late. Anyway, here it is! Enjoy! =)**

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The next morning the family was once again gathered listening to Dr. Howard Merar.

"There's nothing I can do for him that y'all can't do," he stuffed his stethoscope in his black doctors bag. "Mrs. Wilkes' baby is days late already. I need to get back to town."

Victoria nodded. "We understand, Howard."

"Thank you, Victoria," Dr. Merar snapped his bag closed. "I'll be back this afternoon."

"I'll see you out, Doctor," Jarrod offered.

««««-»»»»

Meanwhile at the University...

A man hurried across the park, waving a hand in the air. "Eugene! Eugene Barkley!"

Finally hearing Mr. Charles Braydon's call, Eugene told his chums to go on to class without him. Walking toward the man that had taken him under his wing since he started there eighteen months prior, Eugene sent up a quick prayer that he wasn't in trouble.

"Yes, Mr. Braydon."

"Eugene! Thank God, I caught up with you." The grey-haired man was about the same height as Eugene, but twice his size. He was apparently winded from his excursion this bright morning.

"Is something wrong, sir?"

Regaining his composure, Mr. Braydon nodded. "I believe so, son," he handed the boy a folded paper. "A telegram from your family. It's marked urgent."

Eugene quickly opened it and read:

URGENT

Heath was shot today stop alive stop doc

doesnt know if he'll pull through stop please come

home stop Mother Nick and Audra

Eugene was shocked, confused, worried, and upset all in one dreadful moment. The words played over and over in his mind. Doc doesn't know if he'll pull through... Doc doesn't know if he'll pull through...He had so many questions. Where was Heath shot? When was Heath shot? How? And better still, why?

Swallowing against the lump in his throat he looked at Mr. Braydon and handed him the paper. "I need to go home."

While Mr. Braydon skimmed the paper, Eugene continued. "I'll miss classes and probably fall behind, but-"

"Don't worry about it," Mr. Braydon clapped Eugene on the shoulder and returned the telegram. "Go pack your bags and then meet me back right here. I'll give you a lift to the train depot, alright?"

"But aren't you substituting for Professor Capel in the ancient literature class?" Eugene reminded him.

Mr. Braydon pulled out his watch and snapped it open. "If we hurry, I'll only be a few minutes late."

They set out in opposite directions across campus.

««««-»»»»

Back in Stockton...

All day heath was restless, despite the families best efforts to calm him.

When Dr. Merar returned to the ranch that afternoon, Nick was in Heath's room. Jarrod was out talking with the men and Audra and Victoria were resting at Jarrod's orders.

After spending nearly a half an hour examining heath, Dr. Merar straightened up and shook his head. "I just don't know."

"He's been awfully restless, doc," Nick brought up. "All day. Won't settle down for nothing."

The doctor nodded. "That's understandable. Presumably from pain."

"Can't you give him anything?"

Dr. Merar sighed. "Well, we can give him some laudanum but I want him to become as fully awake as possible between doses. So that he's not remaining completely medicated and out of it."

"Whatever you say, doc."

««««-»»»»

Late that night as the clock struck one, everyone was asleep in their rooms with the exception of Nick, who was snoring away in a chair in Heath's room.

"NO! NO! Please! No! NICK!"

Nick sat up with a start. What had awakened him?

He anxiously looked toward his younger brother. He couldn't see anything in the dark room.

"Heath?" Nick hurried across the room and fumbled to turn up the lamp.

The bed was rumpled. The quilts had slid entirely into the floor.

Heath was facing the opposite side of the room. Crying out in pain and calling for Nick, he lay curled up tight. His knees were drawn up, nearly to his chin. His left hand clutched the bloody bandages wrapped around his chest. Writhing and shaking, his mind was held firmly by some dreadful nightmare.

"Heath? Heath!" Nick dropped to the bed beside him. "Calm down, Heath ." He grabbed ahold of the blond young man and tried to still him. "Blue blazes, boy! You're going to wind up ripping that wound open!"

Heath fought against him and continued screaming in terror.

"Let me help you boy! It's alright." The last thing Nick wanted to do was hurt Heath further, but he had to calm him down.

Heath's eyes burst open. His blue gaze revealed to Nick the extreme height of his pain, confusion, and fear.

"N-ick?" Heath whispered, much quieter and weaker-sounding than seconds before. He panted and his chest heaved.

"I'm here." Nick pulled his brother up and propped Heath's back against himself. Then, being especially careful of the now disarrayed bandaging, he held him close. He could feel Heath quivering from fear and possibly from fever.

Nick half expected Heath to try to pull away, but he didn't. In fact he latched unto the arm that held him. At the moment Heath was perfectly content to let his brother comfort him.

"You alright, little brother?" Nick felt Heath's head move slightly against his jaw, where Heath's temple rested.

Nick didn't realize how he'd referred to Heath; it just rolled off his tongue. Heath caught it though, and it made his heart swell. He'd heard Nick refer to Eugene that way, but never to him. Did this mean Nick had accepted him?

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened and Victoria, Jarrod, and Audra rushed in. They'd heard Heath's cries and came to see what was wrong.

"Nick!"

"What happened?"

"Heath?"

"He's alright." Nick assured them without elaborating on Heath's nightmare. "Jarrod, you wanna give me a hand here."

Jarrod sank down next to his brothers while Victoria and Audra hurried to retrieve fresh bedding.

Jarrod studied his brother, trying to determine whether or not Heath was conscious. 'Is he awake?' He mouthed to Nick.

"Yep," Nick muttered. He brushed the back of his hand down the side of Heath's face. Heath didn't even flinch. "I think he's got a fever," Nick whispered.

Jarrod silently nodded.

After Victoria and Audra returned, and re-made the bed, Victoria sat on the edge of the bed to Heath's right. Nick was across from her and Audra was nearby.

Victoria pulled back the bandaging on Heath's wound. "He's bleeding again. We need to change the dressing. Audra, hand me those scissors, please. Jarrod, go get some clean bandages."

Audra and Jarrod did as their mother asked.

Pulling the soiled cloths away from Heath, Victoria began to cut it away.

Heath clenched his teeth and gripped Nick's hand, as she carefully pulled off the bandages and cleansed the bloodied area.

Nick heard his little brother's groan as he fought to keep the effects of his pain suppressed. The sound cut straight to his heart. He cared for this new-found brother. He cared a lot.

Audra picked up Heath's other hand. Tears pricked her eyes when she noticed he was squeezing Nick's hand until his knuckles turn beyond white, but he won't do that to her.

Jarrod returned and assisted Victoria in dressing and bandaging the wound.

After that was done Nick shooed the rest of the family out of the room. "Y'all go on back to bed. I can handle things in here."

Audra kissed Heath's forehead and was delighted when a small smile came to his face as a result. Satisfied he was in good hands, she slipped off back to bed.

"Are you sure, Nick?"

"Yes, Mother. We're fine."

Victoria saw that Nick wasn't going to tell her what had just happened, like what was the source of the screams she'd heard. Not while there's a possibility of Heath hearing, anyway, she thought.

"Audra will be in to take her shift in about two hours, so you can get some sleep," Victoria reminded him.

Nick knew better than to argue, so he simply nodded. He figured by not verbally agreeing he wasn't promising anything. But you can bet money on it, if Audra didn't come breezing in here he wasn't about to go wake her!

Jarrod patted Heath's left shoulder before saying to Nick, "You sure you're all right?" He knew Nick had fallen asleep. Call it big brother's intuition.

Nick nodded. "I'm fine, Jarrod. I'll, uh, tell you what happened sometime we're alone."

"I'm holding you to that," Jarrod clapped him on the shoulder and disappeared out the door.

Nick picked up the bottle of laudanum and a spoon from the nightstand, and sat back down on the bed.

"Come on, Heath. I know you're awake. Open up and take the medicine."

"No...hate feeling...drugged...you know that..."

Actually Nick didn't know that, but he didn't say so. "You're takin it, little brother."

Man, Heath sure did like hearing that. "I want to...ask you...something."

Nick sat the medicine on the nightstand. "One question and then you're taking this."

Heath nodded. "Will I...make it?"

"You'd better," Nick forced a smile, trying to make light of it.

Heath wasn't fooled. "I'm serious...Nick...Tell me...the truth...I want to know...want to be prepared."

Nick laid a hand on Heath's arm. "You're going to be fine, Heath. Just fine."

Heath still wasn't sure. "You wouldn't...be lyin'...to me...would ya?"

"No little brother, I wouldn't lie to ya."

After Heath took the medicine and Nick was satisfied he was asleep, he bent his head. "Please God let him be alright. I accept him now...I really do."

««««-»»»»

Two hours later when Audra came into the room, Nick was seated in the leather chair next to Heath.

Heath's left hand in both of his, he had his elbows propped on the bed next to his brother. In the low light of the lamp Audra could see the tears rolling down his face.

She quietly glided across the room and stood behind him, placing her hands on Nick's shoulders.

Nick straightened up and swiped the back of his hand across his eyes. "Audra."

"Are you alright, Nick?" she inquired softly.

He let out a shuddering breath. "I can't lose him Audra. I...I just can't."

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	7. Chapter 7

**hello, everyone! Yet again, the next chapter is terribly late...sorry! If you know me well at all, then you expected it, though. ;) Once again, italics are not showing up :( So we'll have to do without them...oh well. :)**

 **enjoy! Leave a review and give me your opinion!**

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The next morning dawned bright and clear with a promise of fair weather for the valley, but everyone in the Barkley household was to preoccupied to notice.

Meals were eaten when Silas insisted, and even then the family wasn't together. Audra was constantly in tears and Nick would hardly speak to anyone.

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Upon returning from a rendezvous of all the men at the bunkhouse, Jarrod walked into the gun room to find Nick sitting on the settee. He was staring straight ahead, as if in a trance.

"Nick? Is something wrong? Is Heath-"

"He's alright," Nick said shortly, not even glancing up. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" Jarrod figured there was more than he was being told around here. Something, though he didn't know what, was remaining "under the rug" as his father used to say.

"Last night he...he asked me if he would 'make it'."

That may be Nick's burden, but there's still something bothering Mother and Audra. A few minutes passed before Jarrod responded, unsure how to. "What did you tell him?"

"Told him he'd better be fine. Don't think he believed me though..." Nick stood and walked over to the glass doors.

Jarrod sat on the edge of the large ranch desk. "What was going on last night?"

Nick waved his hand in the air. "I don't know. He was having a nightmare or something. Screaming, calling for me." Nick's voice trailed off as he stared out the door. "He, uh, he wasn't breathing, Jarrod."

Jarrod whirled around. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Just what I said. He stopped breathing."

"Last night?" Jarrod stood.

"Naw."

"When, Nick?"

"I don't know," Nick growled as he paced the room. "It feels like it's been a week already. When did Evan shoot him?"

"Nick, we don't know it was him." Jarrod level-headedly reasoned.

"Oh, come on, Jarrod!" Nick slammed his palms against the mantle. "What do you want? Evidence? A confession? You've got an eyewitness and I say he's guilty!" By now Nick was halfway across the carpeted floor, finger jabbing.

When Nick reached his brother, Jarrod pushed his hand aside. "You look like me."

Nick rolled his eyes and flopped down on the settee.

"Back to our original subject, what went on with Heath and when?"

"Why does a conversation with you always make me feel like I'm on the witness stand?"

"You're avoiding it again."

"Alright, alright. He stopped breathing less than an hour after we got home." Nick let his face fall into his hands.

Jarrod nearly fell into the desk chair. "He what?"

"He almost died, Jarrod. Right then and there sitting on the bed in...in my arms."

"Dear God…" Jarrod knew there was something that had been bothering his brother, mother, and sister but he never wouldn't dreamed anything like this.

"I didn't realize it until now, but he trusts me."

Nick's distraught voice brought Jarrod back to the present. "Huh?"

"It's my fault, Jarrod."

"Nick-"

"No, it is." Nick resumed pacing the room. "He went with me onto Wally's land because he trusted me. Trusted me to know what's best. I let him down, let him get hurt and hurt bad. He could've been killed and still could...still could die..."

Jarrod stood and started for his brother. "Nick, you can't-"

"Yes, I can!" Nick pushed Jarrod aside on his way out the door. "See ya later, pappy."

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Next day…

Audra was in the kitchen when she heard the front door open. That's strange, she thought. Whoever it is didn't even knock!

"Want me to see who dat be, Miz Audra?"

"Thank you, Silas, but I'll get it." She hurried to the foyer, wondering who it could be. Nick was upstairs sitting with Heath. Mother was sleeping after staying by Heath's side part of the night and all morning. And Jarrod was trying to get caught up on some paperwork.

««««-»»»»

"Gene!" Audra ran to him, nearly tripping across his luggage which was sitting next to the door.

Eugene hugged her tight. "I've missed ya, sis." In pulling back he asked anxiously, "how's Heath?"

Audra shrugged while, for the ump-teenth time in the past few days, her blue eyes flooded with tears. "He's still with us."

"That bad?"

Audra nodded. "It's been three days but Dr. Merar isn't sure if he's actually getting any stronger or if he's just holding on until...until he could see you."

"Audra, where was he shot? The telegram didn't say."

She placed her finger on his chest to indicate where the bullet had made a path.

Chest shot. Eugene drew in a deep breath. "I'd like to see him."

Audra took his arm. "Come on. Nick's with him now. Dr. Merar doesn't want Heath alone whenever he wakes up, so we've been taking shifts sitting with him."

Eugene nodded. "Where's Mother and Jarrod?"

"Mother sat with Heath for a long time this morning, so she's resting now. Jarrod is in his room doing some paperwork. Nick has refused to leave Heath's side for more than a few hours of sleep, so the responsibility of keeping the ranch running has fallen on Jarrod."

Eugene noticed that Audra was doing what she often did when upset, nonsensical rambling.

The two youngest Barkley siblings walked down the upstairs hall and stopped outside of an almost closed door. Audra pushed the door open and they stepped in.

Nothing could've prepared the youngest Barkley brother for the sight before him. Heath looked like death, that was all he could think.

Nick roused from the armchair and turned. "Eugene! Where did you come from?"

"Howdy, Nick. I came as soon as I got the telegram."

Nick nodded. "We didn't want you to miss classes, but…"

Eugene shrugged. "It's alright. I can make up for it next semester. How is he?"

"Don't know. Not good I'm afraid." Nick shook his head.

"Has he been responsive at all?" Eugene wanted to know.

Audra nodded. "He usually wakes up when the medicine wears off. He may say a few words or sqeeze your hand."

When little sister walked over to Heath, the expression and shake of his head that Nick gave Eugene showed that what Audra said wasn't exactly true.

Eugene nodded his understanding. There was something else he wanted to ask but he wasn't sure if was prepared for the answer. "Has he ate or drank anything?"

Audra caressed Heath's cheek and didn't answer.

Nick sighed. "We're able to get a little water in him with the medicine," he shook his head slowly. "But it ain't enough to live off of."

As the day wore on, Eugene noted how tired the whole family was.

That's why I'm here, his mind said. So they can get some rest...

No, that's not why you're here, his heart contradicted. You're here because you care for this blond brother alot...

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